sadness

I haven’t been sewing much lately, just a little bit of hand sewing & have only had the machine out once to work on a snuggly. Didn’t help that half of my house (the half where the machine usually sits, on the dining table) was covered in plaster dust.Our old boxy air conditioner decided the 44 degree day was the right time to stop blowing cold air …….. so we have installed a reverse cycle split system. Wonderful! Yes – but oh my goodness, the dust from removing the old one is beyond words.

We have not had a good start to the year. 2019 started in the saddest way possible, with the death of my friends child. He was only 20. I know that officially he’s a man by then, but no, when you’re my age, he was just a child. I was not close with him, but his Mum is an amazing person, over the years she’s helped my family out on many occasions, she’s helped a lot of people out…….. For a long, long time he was an only child, and he was her world, particularly as she is a single Mum. His memorial service was wonderful. So many faces! He was a caring, cheeky, clever individual, you could see the good he spread in the world in his short time here just by listening to their stories. It seems so unfair! All the dregs out there committing violence are still around, but this sweet young man who had such a bright future is gone, in one silly misjudged moment, just …. gone.

It’s very hard to explain why this has affected me so deeply. I’m not really sure myself, other than I feel so much for his Mum. Every single day now I think of her & the pain she’s living with.

On one hand, I want to keep my children close, but on the other I want them to get out there and really experience life – because that’s what he was doing, and loving it. He did more travelling in his short life than I’ve done in my 54 years. I want my kids to get out there and have fun, explore, enjoy, take risks (not too many), not stay at home & waste their lives. Well, it’s not wasting, but still, it’s kind of like stagnating.

I am trying to get back to ‘normal’ so will be pushing myself to get some stitching done soon, & I’m so thankful I have had some contact with customers lately, lovely people! I helped out briefly at Palm Beach Quilting during the Fabric Frolic too, which was distracting & enjoyable (thanks Maureen).

Sorry if this has been a bit depressing, it’s just where I am right now.